We all have them right? The friends that just suck the life out of you, the “fun busters”, the “energy vacuums”, the “oxygen suckers”; whatever you like to call them, they are all the same and they are bringing you down. Why is it then, we accept them in our lives? Is it because we are too afraid to say anything? Have you accepted their behaviour for so long that it’s too late to do or say anything about it?
So what do we do about this? Do you just cut these people out of your life with no warning or do you give them an eviction notice? Give them the heads up that if they don’t change their ways of thinking and attitude that you will decide to spend less time with them and essentially cut them off; evicting them from your life.
Fortunately for me but unfortunately for you; I actually don’t have the answer to this. I can honestly say that all of my friends are fantastic and I don’t have to worry about this issue. That being said, I did stop to think about how I would handle the situation should I ever be put in it in the future.
I have to admit, I’m more of the shy away from confrontation kind of person then the in your face kind of person and that’s why I would probably lean towards simply cutting them out with no explanation vs. the eviction notice method. Now, that being said, I don’t think that is the best action to take. I think that there is something to be said for honesty and for communication. Perhaps your friend is so oblivious to their state of negativity and disposition that they don’t even recognize that it is happening. Perhaps they have not changed because no one has had the cojones to do anything about it. Or maybe they are not and are simply negative human beings that should stick to being around other negative human beings and stop bringing you down.
Although I may have not yet encountered this situation with a friend of mine, I can share that I have had to nudge my husband a few times in our marriage with a notice of refusal to listen. There have been a couple of times when unfortunately my husband’s work has brought him down, and turned what is normally a super positive man into a negative and sour person. Being the supportive wife that I am, I listened to his concerns and venting each time for a few days until I had to get tough with him and say “babes, I love you, but I refuse to listen to you anymore or be around your miserable self until you can commit to doing something about the situation” Both times, I remember him being quite impressed with my tough love and actually thanking me for getting tough with him, admitting that he needed the push to act upon the situation. Misery loves company, so if we continue to fuel the fire, it will continue to grow.
This week, take a moment to reflect upon the people in your life, the ones that bring you up and those (if any) that bring you down. For the “Debbie Downers” maybe its time you get tough and evict.