How do you react to feedback? Do you accept it and try your best to learn and grow from it or do you get a little defensive and perhaps a touch of anger or embarrassment? These are powerful questions that perhaps you may not like admitting the answers to. Have you ever thought why as adults, accepting feedback can sometimes be hard to swallow; whereas for children, it is openly accepted and commonly solicited? My three year old daughter is so open to asking for help when attempting a new skill or activity and will often check back in with me to ensure that what she is doing is “ok”. On the flip side, as a 37 year old adult, accepting feedback and asking for help has been a trait/skill that I have had to work on over my adult years. Perhaps as we age, so does our ego; which in turn gets in the way of our own growth and self-betterment.
So if your ego is stopping you from growing, how do you break free? In my experience the first step is to be true to you. Start by uncovering the ‘whys’ and ‘what’s’ of receiving feedback or asking for help that bothers you, if you can uncover this, then you my friend have hit the jackpot. Understand that the ego likes to work undercover, and once you uncover its whys and whats you take away its power. Accepting what it is that bothers you is the first step to moving forward and being able to start making decisions and taking actions towards a better you.
For me, in my later 20’s I had a hard time accepting feedback and asking for help because I lacked self-confidence, so every time I received feedback I took it as I was not good enough and internalised it negatively. However, accepting that it was my lack of confidence that was not allowing me to accept feedback positively helped me in being able to slowly start accepting it and learn from it. Now, in my late 30’s I welcome feedback, I thrive on it, I know that every time I receive feedback or ask for help, I am just one step closer to doing something better or achieving a goal.
Just remember, even the best of the best have coaches, whether it be professional athletes and their fitness coaches, or dignitaries and their public speaking coaches, we all have room for improvement and in being open to the improvement will open you up to a whole new you.
The amazing Coach Kate helping me become a better and stronger me.